Flight of the Soul by Israel Tsvaygenbaum

by Barrie

I recently had the good fortune to spend time with a dear friend and mentor who was nearing the end of her life. I was so inspired by the joy, courage, and intentionality with which she was living her final days. At 86 years old, she told me how immensely grateful she felt for having lived a wonderful and full life.

As we sat in her backyard drinking coconut water on a hot afternoon, she shared with me that the most important thing she felt she needed to focus on was forgiveness. This included forgiving herself for any circumstances or situations that might feel incomplete, forgiving others unreservedly, and asking for forgiveness from others whom she may have hurt or wronged, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Forgiveness, kshama in Sanskrit, is one of the classic yamas, or guidelines for yogic living, that appears among the list of yogic virtues in many yoga texts, including the Bhagavad Gita, the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, and others. In her commentary on the Hatha Yoga Pradikpika, Swami Muktibodhananda says:

“Forgiveness [kshama] actually means the ability to let experiences go from the mind and not to hold on to memories of past events. It means living in the present. This yama is not only for the sake of other people, it is more for your own benefit. If you can forgive, life becomes more pleasant and harmonious. Whereas revenge brings anger and remorse and creates karma, forgiveness brings happiness and lightness to your heart.”

Like the yoga tradition, forgiveness is a central practice in many of the world’s sacred traditions. In Judaism, for example, the ten days between the New Year and the Day of Atonement, which happen to be coming up next week, are focused on reflection and asking forgiveness for sins incurred over the past year.

In all these traditions, forgiveness is considered to be indispensable for fostering inner peace because holding onto grudges and resentment keeps us from being happy and content.

It’s not about minimizing the hurt or denying the pain we might have experienced. It’s also not about exonerating the person who wronged us from doing their own repentance. Instead, it’s about letting go of the bitterness and resentment we might feel. We do this for ourselves because when we hold onto those feelings, they become obstacles to our happiness, growth, and evolution. Martin Luther King, Jr said:

“Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act. It means, rather, that the evil act no longer remains a barrier to the relationship.”

Yoga teaches that forgiveness dissolves anger. In this way, it brings freedom. In letting go of our anger and hurt, we release the grudges and resentment that keep us from moving forward—whether that means entering a new phase of a relationship, ending a relationship that no longer serves us, or, as in my friend’s case, letting go of life itself.

Here are three simple breath and awareness-based practices that I’ve found helpful to release stuck feelings of anger and resentment and cultivate forgiveness:

  1. Use your breath. On your exhalation, imagine you are letting go of pain and hurt, clearing space for forgiveness. Repeat as needed.
  2. Offer your anger and resentment to an imaginary fire and consciously let them go as you watch them burn.
  3. Write a letter to the person who you would like to forgive and don’t send it to them. Just use it to clarify and download your feelings of hurt and resentment can make it easier to let them go.

Although kshama doesn’t include asking for others to forgive you, you could also practice this as my friend did by praying to be forgiven by those you know you hurt and those you hurt unknowingly. You could use this prayer by Shankaracharya or any prayer of your choice:

Whatever offenses I have committed with my hands, feet, voice, body, actions, ears, eyes, or mind, whether prohibited or not, please forgive them all.

For more on kshama and forgiveness, see Cultivating Forgiveness (Kshama) by Nina and Forgiveness (Kshama)  by Ram Rao.

 

Download a free class from Barrie’s new Yoga for Times of Change companion video series and learn more about her book Evolving Your Yoga: Ten Principles for Enlightened Practice at www.barrierisman.com.

• Follow Yoga for Healthy Aging on Facebook and follow Nina on Instagram • Order Yoga for Times of Change here  and purchase the companion videos here • Order Yoga for Healthy Aging: A Guide to Lifelong Well-Being here.